deepundergroundpoetry.com
THERE ARE STILL WHO AMEND.
THERE ARE STILL WHO AMEND.
They tell me life gets crowded with knaves.
I agree as l meet lots of them.
Like the weeds, they destroy the rose buds
ere they flourish and fill land with smell.
The world squirms tired of what they do
for no reason but to please themselves.
Others look with disgust at their filth,
but the harm which they cause revives them.
I wonder how the world can forgive,
and the honest with them can survive.
A soft voice in my mind assures me
life can't get quite void of who amend.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
They tell me life gets crowded with knaves.
I agree as l meet lots of them.
Like the weeds, they destroy the rose buds
ere they flourish and fill land with smell.
The world squirms tired of what they do
for no reason but to please themselves.
Others look with disgust at their filth,
but the harm which they cause revives them.
I wonder how the world can forgive,
and the honest with them can survive.
A soft voice in my mind assures me
life can't get quite void of who amend.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 17th Apr 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
What's here that would make a new (or any) poet say "I wish I'd written that piece."? What would a new poet learn about how to write poetry from what you posted here?
Is "life can't get quite void of who amend" good English?. Shouldn't it be "life can't get quite void of **those who** amend."? And are the ones life can't quite be void of "making better/ improving? So far as I can see, there's no depiction anywhere in your piece of such an action being undertaken or of those who do this still being around somewhere .
18th Apr 2020 11:54am
Dear Baldwin,
Is "life can't get quite void of who amend" good English?. Shouldn't it be "life can't get quite void of **those who** amend."?
1-Could you please explain it grammatically if you don't mind?
2-And are the ones life can't quite be void of "making better/ improving? So far as I can see, there's no depiction anywhere in your piece of such an action being undertaken or of those who do this still being around somewhere .Baldwin
Could you correct it? It's not clear.
Is "life can't get quite void of who amend" good English?. Shouldn't it be "life can't get quite void of **those who** amend."?
1-Could you please explain it grammatically if you don't mind?
2-And are the ones life can't quite be void of "making better/ improving? So far as I can see, there's no depiction anywhere in your piece of such an action being undertaken or of those who do this still being around somewhere .Baldwin
Could you correct it? It's not clear.
18th Apr 2020 4:12pm
First answer my question above (i.e., the one about what would-be poets would learn on the matter of how to write well from your piece and/or what's in your piece that someone would berate themselves for not having written) and then I 'll comply.
