The Unkindness

I am constantly depressed  
there's no one I try to impress  
I feel so naked like a salad not dressed.
Like the air in a balloon my feelings are compressed .
My life seems so dim , cause I am  constantly internally like a silencer suppressed.  
I am constantly collapsing my world around me  
Sometimes I just want to end my life Cause it's not worth living to me ,
but you won't get it.
You are so human your brain is wired so hard to begin comprehend or fatham it.
I'm a messed up little person who refuses to exist .
Invisible to the naked eye  
put on some glasses so a thing you won't miss .
hehe see , it's not a big deal ...
I am not appealing to the public like a good meal ...
like I am trying to cut a deal...
To me it's easy to just take some pills  
pasout as though I'm so ill ...
Cause carving at my skin with a cutlass I no longer feel ...
Sometimes it feels like I am clinically brain dead ...
though my brain is so active I abusivly treat it like it's dead weight  
I refuse to exist anyway... I am like a Raven
A nerdy guy with an IQ over the 160
who refuses to get paid like attention  
not to mention never got detention  
like respiration  
I am an inspiration  
to a small generation  
who don't need an explanation  
with no limits like an expiration  
I am the perfect oxidation of a complex organic substance with no restriction
So it's not about how smart you are ... it's how you are smart ...
 
Look at me ...
No , I mean really look at me ...
ugh!!! OPEN YOUR INNER EYES AND LOOK AT ME !!!  
1 is lonely  
2 is too much  
3 is a crowd  
4 is a festival  
 
I do not know what happiness is.
I've never felt it  
" what broke you man ?"  
... I was adopted by my biological parents ...  
Life is sad to me as the context  
 
My strongest emotion Is overwhelming Sadness  
My text depression covers that  
 
Pain
I happen to like pain  
the feeling makes me not want to make mistakes  
keeps me on my toes like a ballet  
and when I feel nothing it comes to my rescue ...
hence I've never broken a promise because I know what that feels like and I am like ocean basket with it cause I is  selfish with it .
 
Love  
I am like a combination of Hannibal Lecter and a Zombie  
cause I am all about the brains because you know ' true love is head over heels '  
To me it's about character  
 But I am not strong enough to handle me hurting the one I love ... the fear of being the problem ... because of this overwhelming sadness the depression makes me feel like a healthy man living with cancer .... to the relationship so who am I to make you deal with sadness when you can go out and have a real relationship with a normal guy cause I hear it's not wise to put your heart in a head case ... Lol  
 
in a more accurate sense and quote  
" me and love is like a bad combination , I keep those feelings locked in a vault "  
lol so if you are good at chemistry and love a challenge ... it's really not that difficult... Lol all simple things are ...  
 
so that's me in a therapy session