Medication

I take the meds
that make me sick to my stomach
if I forget to eat
But what does it matter
because they make me sick
when I try to eat
Everything is glazed
and dazed
I can feel my heartbeat
but I can't find my personality
I feel like a zombie
I walk the halls
dragging my feet along
feeling worse than when I first woke up
Focusing
but not on the right thing
The paper in front of me
is the second thing on my mind
but it's supposed to be the first
That's the point of the meds
though they work
sometimes
they make me better
sometimes
and I think through my decisions more
they're still not always the right ones
But I'll keep taking the pills
because they make me feel
in control
in this life that so often feels
like it is out of it