Why?

Why does my heart beat faster
when i see you come my way?
When i know you hurt me
and yet your smile kills me everyday...
Does my heart beat from pain,
from embarrassment of what was?
or perhaps from memories that pour down like rain?
Why do i let my heart convince my
mind that it would indeed be better this time?
Do i convince it so my heart will bind
the wounds still fresh in my mind?
Will i ever get over the shock?
or will i forever remember the pain
of having a key wrenched out of a lock and left me with out gain,
leaving that same key lost forever?
or is it because i need to care
to love somebody no matter who
letting me forget, stripping me bare,
of all the pain you have caused?
Why do i know it would never work
and yet still wish it could?
Why do i feel pain lurk
when i dont think of you?
am i afraid?
Why cant you let me go?
or at least release my mind
from your painful hold?