deepundergroundpoetry.com
LET'S ENDEAVOUR.
LET'S ENDEAVOUR.
When our pen intends to write, let's seek the truth.
It's a call for you and all who read this verse.
Life is short and we have problems quite unsolved.
Why do we deplete the time on trivial themes?
If your heart is burning down, you don't sip tea.
How can poets rhyme their whims while fear is near?
Let's discuss the fire that burns deep in hearts
and conceive the gist of fear ere rhyming trash.
What is man on earth but just a little being
facing problems from the start till his near end?
Great is he whose warning can save other ants
ere the foot of giant vice can end their roles.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
When our pen intends to write, let's seek the truth.
It's a call for you and all who read this verse.
Life is short and we have problems quite unsolved.
Why do we deplete the time on trivial themes?
If your heart is burning down, you don't sip tea.
How can poets rhyme their whims while fear is near?
Let's discuss the fire that burns deep in hearts
and conceive the gist of fear ere rhyming trash.
What is man on earth but just a little being
facing problems from the start till his near end?
Great is he whose warning can save other ants
ere the foot of giant vice can end their roles.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 19th Nov 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Do pens have intentions?
And do you realize that you have claimed that "man" does not have any problems once "he" gets close to his end?
And do you realize that you have claimed that "man" does not have any problems once "he" gets close to his end?
19th Nov 2019 6:20pm
19th Nov 2019 7:04pm
And what roles do ants have that can be ended by a giant foot of vice (whatever that is)? Are they shared with "men"?
19th Nov 2019 7:33pm
What does conceiving the main idea and meaning of fear entail and why is it important to do this before one sets "trash" to rhyme?
19th Nov 2019 8:06pm
The internet wasn't working well. I tried to correct but l couldn't.
1-Pen have intention means the spontaneity in poetry.
2- From the start till near his end: means from the beginning to the end because after that there is no feeling.
3-Sorry l haven't found your help useful to me, but the internet didn't help me to answer you immediately.
4-In the poem people are little creatures. Ants are meant to be those little creatures. Ending their roles means to be trodden on and die.
5- Conceiving the truth before they write trash.
1-Pen have intention means the spontaneity in poetry.
2- From the start till near his end: means from the beginning to the end because after that there is no feeling.
3-Sorry l haven't found your help useful to me, but the internet didn't help me to answer you immediately.
4-In the poem people are little creatures. Ants are meant to be those little creatures. Ending their roles means to be trodden on and die.
5- Conceiving the truth before they write trash.
19th Nov 2019 8:14pm
None of this is clear in what you wrote. And the fact that you have to explain what is "meant" in your lines means that you have failed to do what should be done for a writing to be well written -- to communicate effectively.
19th Nov 2019 8:32pm
1- l have written the explanation because you have asked me to do that.
2- I can't imagine a person like you, who criticizes poetry and he has your limited poetical imagination.
2- I can't imagine a person like you, who criticizes poetry and he has your limited poetical imagination.
I did not ask you for explanations of your lines. I asked if they made sense AS THEY WERE WRITTEN.
You second point is an incomplete sentence and contains a solecism (the pronoun after "and" is grammatically unsound).
More importantly, labeling me as "unimaginable" and as lacking in "imagination" is an ad hominem attack that shows the paucity of your ability to demonstrate that the comments I make about what you write and the way you do it are off the mark, and does nothing to show that they are invalid or wrong or unjustified in any way.
You second point is an incomplete sentence and contains a solecism (the pronoun after "and" is grammatically unsound).
More importantly, labeling me as "unimaginable" and as lacking in "imagination" is an ad hominem attack that shows the paucity of your ability to demonstrate that the comments I make about what you write and the way you do it are off the mark, and does nothing to show that they are invalid or wrong or unjustified in any way.
I'll ask once more: Do you think it's impossible for you to write poorly? You've never answered this question when it's been put to you.
But the conclusion that seems inevitable, given the way you respond to notes from readers of your "work" about how it often lacks clarity and does not convey what you think it conveys by attributing to these readers a lack of intelligence and imagination as the only cause of their not seeing what you are saying (and how wonderfully you are saying it!), is that you think that it IS impossible!
But the conclusion that seems inevitable, given the way you respond to notes from readers of your "work" about how it often lacks clarity and does not convey what you think it conveys by attributing to these readers a lack of intelligence and imagination as the only cause of their not seeing what you are saying (and how wonderfully you are saying it!), is that you think that it IS impossible!
19th Nov 2019 9:45pm
19th Nov 2019 10:21pm
Sorry, but the issue is whether you think that you always write wonderfully and never poorly, and whether the cause of negative notes from readers about the way you write is ONLY a lack of intelligence or imagination on the part of those who send you such notes and never has -- or never could possibly have -- anything to do with the way you write.
Whether I write wonderfully or not -- indeed, whether I can or cannot write wonderfully-- has nothing to do with that issue.
Whether I write wonderfully or not -- indeed, whether I can or cannot write wonderfully-- has nothing to do with that issue.
19th Nov 2019 10:35pm
Those who can't write wonderfully like you as l have seen samples of your writings find themselves obliged to criticize in your cheap way to satisfy themselves.
Even if so, how would this show that what I say about the way you write is untrue, let alone that my remarks are written in a "cheap way"?. Sorry, but you ad hominem laced snit fit is another dodge of my question, and it shows that you are incapable of demonstrating in a rational way and with recourse to evidenced based arguments that my remarks have no basis in fact. Otherwise you would have done so.
