deepundergroundpoetry.com
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The glass was always broken, you're just pointing, looking to blame, there was never a sturdy pane, just shattered pieces of pain, no use trying to pick them up, they'll only hurt you, broken from the start, never to reflect a heart, broken and lying on the floor, looking up at a perfect world.
Published 11th Nov 2019
| Edited 2nd Dec 2019
Author's Note
Leave a comment so I can learn from mistakes etc.
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comments 2
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The author encourages honest critique.
Really like the message here and how fresh it feels using the extended metaphor, love the title and the reflection of a perfect world, people see what they want to see, and it can be very hard to break away from our surroundings. very nice and greatly enjoyed.
If I had to give crit I would say look at changing the third use of broken it works really well in the first two but you could chose something more descriptive to replace the third one. Only a suggestion. I really enjoyed the poem.
If I had to give crit I would say look at changing the third use of broken it works really well in the first two but you could chose something more descriptive to replace the third one. Only a suggestion. I really enjoyed the poem.
4th Dec 2019 6:57am
