Thinking about Destiny

I find myself
Contemplating

Thinking of all
the things
I could be doing

Thinking about all
The places
I could be seeing

I find myself
Contemplating

Thinking about all
The times
I could've chosen differently

Thinking of all
The times
I could've put myself first

So I sit here
Contemplating

Thinking about my future
If my current life
Is worth it

I sit here
Contemplating

Thinking about my past
If there is anything
I should ve regretting

So I sit here
Contemplating

Thinking about my present
Wondering if
I ever find any answers

Destiny always feels
Like it should be
Something we know

Yet I find myself
Sitting here
Contemplating

If I believe in destiny
If I really can believe
That something controls me

I honestly cannot
Believe in such

I find myself
Contemplating

Thinking about all
The times
Life wasn't fair

Thinking about
All the times
I never cried

Thinking about
All the time
I put in

Thinking about
All the times
I fell short

Thinking about
All the times
I thought I had it all

Thinking about
All the time
I seem to have lost

So I sit here
Contemplating

Thinking about
All the times
I had to pick myself up

Wondering
If any of these risks
Are worth it

Will life ever
Be fruitful for me?

Is it my destiny
To eat last

Is it my destiny
To not even get a seat
At the table?

I truly do not know
Which is why
I cannot accept destiny

I cannot accept fate

I can only accept
The choices which I make

For I choose to do
What I love

I choose to live a life
In which I can say
That I have chased a dream

I choose a life
In which the only destiny
I have is one made

By my own actions