flesh of a girl (similar to my poem internal)

Short, sweet and very lyrical.  Loved the structure and speed.

Well done

thanks so much.. I approach this subject a lot in my writing but I try find different ways to think about it and compose something new about it each time.. I try to flow almost like lyrics a lot of times.. but I hate rhyming ;) cheers

Another refreshment from trudging through 75 poems! short, sweet and not void of impact.

impact is so important. always a challenge. i don't always succeed... but when it hits it hits. 75 poems? are you trying to get through du's archive or just mine?

I enjoyed this. It is softly erotic, and your final line reminds me of "Zion in the weeds", i.e. paradise in the flesh is all we can truly hope for.

My one crit is 'milk of my sacrum'. For one thing it immediately made me think of milk of magnesia, ruining the languidly sexy vibe you built. Secondly, sacrum is a fusion of bones in the spine, and even though it stems from a Latin phrase for holy bone, it wasn't a holy boner - that portion of the spine and pelvis were used sacrificially.

the sex chakra in easter philosophy is also called the sacrum.. glad you liked this piece... if you know my other stuff i am generally never "soft" with eroticism... i prefer violence made beautiful... flesh paradise is all we can hope for? yeah i guess in this form... maybe pure enlightenment and zen in the next life.... or as id prefer dissolving into the void and then...........

The Swadisthana is located at the sacrum, yes  :)

I am familiar with beautifully violent sex. Enlightenment for me has little to do with sex, although I am not discounting tantra - and many Jewish tractates detail the melding of a couple with the Divine as a way to fully honor God and sanctify the Sabbath.

I am appreciating this piece more. Thank you for replying to my reply.

if you have to say it's a car when you draw a car then... maybe you shouldn't draw cars. this is nice i enjoyed it for sure. the reference to other writings was a total turn-off lucky it's short! or it would be skipped... let each piece have it's own place. even if the inspiration comes from antiquated work...

mostly thats just notes to myself so i can remember i have so many writings i organize anal retentively and often have a theme i drag through the car wash and purify by language until its raw and steam is rising off its tires. but i dont like to draw cars

; )