....... Struggle.

The struggle is real to feel  
Not the pain of insanity  
Pacing back and forth searching for sanity  
Worries and panic a reality  

Day to day that struggle is real  
Smile to hide the lines of frowns  
While wicked clowns chase  
Fighting hard to erase the victims of past mistakes.  

Black cats and crows circle around  
Shadows fade into the corner. Chasing dreams of happiness  
Waking in cold sweats out of breath  
The struggle is real not to cut flesh  
Stopping the pain  
Momentary  
Punishment exacted fear retracted brief smiles not acted  

The struggle is real to feel  
Deeper than the pit filled with regret  

Looking in the corner a shadow balled up shivering  
Nearing steps cause it to run.  
Alone  
Bored  
Struggling to feel other than…  
Other than this pit  
Worthless  
Pointless  
Useless just less. Sigh another pretense  
until the next cut when I can stand as blood drips a smile relief.  

Another day the struggle is real.