Must we go

Everyone else has been up all night; everyone else has gone back for more,
Why must we always go,  before we soar.?
If we never did go, if we never did soar, would we be able to go anymore?
Must you be allowed to go if you never do soar? Are these privileges we uphold forever more?
Or punishments we hate to our soul’s very core.
These questions puzzle me, for the moment at least, perhaps the answers are at the end of this feast.
This feast of knowledge that your brain watches, never to know why it’s seeing the splotches.
The splotches are dark, and cherry with red; red as the color of the brain in my head.
I can’t see anymore, light as white as ancient tile.
Something swallowed me whole, a giant reptile.
Did I ever even go, did I ever even soar?
Did the world see my birthday when I turned four?
I think of these things at the time it is to die.
I waited too long I never tried to cry.
But the eyedrops hit hard and I couldn’t see,
Iill never even know hard I could be.