What it's like (Carpe's therapy sessions)

Been a while between sessions, so why the fuck not, if you the reader get something out of this, a little insight into how the guy behind the screen operates this carpe noctem dude.

Perhaps at times he controls me, who knows does anyone really give a fuck, i sure don't. If Mr Noctem is my loose goose somewhat darker side so be it, as to who summons whom, well that one remains up to the viewer

Seriously don't know how I'm still standing and at times I sure as fuck am not. What with coming to terms with the breakdown of family, a wife who won't let have even written letters with the daughter. To being raped a few months later..
Not saying I'm stronger than most, sure as shit I'm probably the most vulnerable I've been in my life.
Tell me anyone that could carry that kind of load alone..

I guess that's why my spirit family manifested when they did, so as to carry me from the broken mess on the floor. Without them safe to say I'd be dead. A friend in need I guess needs speed, much prefer weed but beggers can't be choosers and free drugs go along with hugs, so pure mornings and all the glory that go along with amphetamine benders.

You sure learn things when you deprive, yourself of sleeping and eating for over a week at a time. Same as how little sleep and a feed can recharge you for the next rounds.
Which is exactly what it is, am I going all sorrow over not seeing Kiddo, or perhaps sadness that apart of you has been taken never to be returned, sometimes both simultaneously.

When the black dog comes, she comes hard, those little suicidal flirtations means you need to punch her in the tits, not today you horrible bitch fuck off.
Got a enough mental shoes to need her around anyway, I guess part of my strength comes from my positivity.
The times I can be arsed heading out to areas that might involve me having to socialise. Well all they see is a happy guy that cracks jokes and smiles, not the hollow internal fellah that's been desecrated.