A Nigga’s Psalm

Today I woke up differently
Not by the alarm but by anxiety
It is that fear again
You know, the same one we all face in pain
Asking what’s the purpose of living
If we will end up dying?
Can we discuss this?

Should I attend school?
Should I go to work?
Should I sit home and get labeled a fool?
Perhaps I should go to Church and quirk
As I argue with priests and teachers who got no proof
Can we discuss this?

Appalled in the grasps of despair
The stench of pauperism in its greatest honor
The only certain look at life is that it’s not fair
Well am black - shouldn’t I relate to that color?
Love, Hate, Malice, confusion - layered on a broken heart who still care
I was in the middle of it all, trying to access this horror
Can we discuss this?

I give praise under threats
Of an after-life no one’s sure of
Feels good I admit, but am in-between sets
All the heroes of the Bible had something to fight for
They spoke to You directly
How do you decide without bias who You chat with eventually?
Can we discuss this?

I do not recall giving anyone permission to be born
Why did I deserve this scorn?
And the choice was the greatest gift, right?
Even the sun this time- couldn’t lend me the light
Can we discuss this?

To the worrying of death, we all bound
Too hooked in fears - we even forget to live
It's like watching porn without sound
What possibly is one trying to achieve?
Can we discuss this?