Share the Pain

I wish he would have hit me
Even just a slap
Leave a bruse, one that heals
A flesh wound
Not one that scorches me so,  withering me to ashes
I pick at it
Scratch it off to watch it flow again

I want to hold him down, cry in his shoulder,
And tell him he can't desert me
I want to throw him in a hole
Make him all alone
I want his insides to rot out and his love to vanish
I want him to hate me with every fiber of his being

To realize that even though I continue to scar him,
He can't help but love and feel adoration for me
That when he does eventually see me again,
He can't help but forgive everything

Then ill fuck him over again...
Kind of like what he does to me