Mad As Hell - originally written November 17 2011

Im mad as hell
At so many things
The way you treated me
The way you lied
The girls online were always better than me
No matter how hard I tried
You always had me on my knees
I begged you to stop
I pleaded with you no
I flinched away
whispering, its okay
Accepting your apologies
again and again
I really considered you my closest friend.
Although I was the one who walked away
I still have my nights
where all I feel is pain
The pain of knowing what was lost
Knowing it came at such a high cost
Sometimes when Im feeling down and blue
My thoughts drifts of memories of you
The problem is I cannot smile
Not when it comes to you
Atleast not for awhile.
I broke your heart
And you broke mine
My spirits crushed
I cannot fly
My one true love was to be free
But unfortunately I cant forget
I find you always stuck in my head
No matter how hard I try
Your like a bad song that I cant take off of repeat.

I find myself with someone new
Who is really nothing like you
He makes me laugh
Holds me close
Im never afraid of the strength of his blows.
With him I have brand new fears,
Of being hurt, and being brought to tears.
Trusting him I find hard to do,
And I dont know how to get past his previous I do's
He hurt the one he loved before
and I wasnt the first woman hes told he adores
So how do I know where the boundaries lie.
I will not be hurt again and again
by you, by him, by any man.
My heart can only take so much
So I must decide when enough is enough
Do I let on how much it hurts me to see you high
Ive given you everything, all I can give.
Im yours sweetheart, I promise
Im not going anywhere.
But how long until you stray,
How high is the possibility that you'll walk away.
You need to know my love, my dear,
That if you cheat, I wont be here.
Ill be the one who walks away,
Ill leave you standing there astray.
If you do break my heart
Ill embrace the hurt and relish in the dark
Because in the end it will be you who is alone
I dont need a man, I have finally learned to stand on my own.
It feels so good to be so close to you
I never thought it would be this way.
Its almost to good to be true.
The problem is my life isnt Disney
And fairytales dont always have a happy ending
So please dont prove me wrong
Stay by my side, let us be strong.
Ill be a great woman, take care of your needs
Just be a good man, please take care of me.