Im a Crocodeagle (Darwin Knows Nothing)

My mother was an Australian croc
My father, a bald eagle jock
You probably want to know just how they met
It all started one night at a buffet of ket

It was Charlie the mighty elephant of doom
That hosted the party on a mighty mushroom
“Animals” he said “Come together all of you
Let’s break the misuse of drugs act 1972”

“Its time” he said “For us creatures to realise
Humans aren’t the only ones that walk home with red eyes”
So then they came in numbers plenty
Not in two by two’s but in fours and twenties

The monkeys brought coke, the sloths smoked their cannabis
The pigeons’ were fucked I think they were pissed
You wouldn’t have thought hippos smoked crack
But it’s not surprising to find parrots on mKat

The dogs brought Viagra, in an hour it was gone
You’ll never see so many animals getting it on
Dogging it seemed, was the activity of choice
God knows how that gorilla did that tortoise

White rabbit was late, got raped by a stag
Now his ass looks like a Japanese flag
A sight it must’ve been, a giraffe with a bong
Or Godzilla having sex with the mighty King Kong

And the party raved on two nights and a day
Entertainment was good, a fight and a play
Romeo and Juliet played by Charlie and his crew
Juliet was a fox, Romeo was a shrew

Don’t think this one-off; it’s not the first time
The last one was held under a great British pine
You’ll find its how new species are invented
There’ll be one on soon it can’t be prevented

And Darwin thought he’d sorted it out
Why birds have wings and pigs have a snout
What actually happens is we all have an orgy
A frog and cat made my auntie Georgie