Upon learning the fate of a friend

You were always a magnet
a lightning rod
drawing the energy into yourself
towards your self

It was charisma.
People loved you.
They saw something in you.

You were restless.
When I met you,
you were still a bit shell-shocked.
Something had happened,
and I never asked what it was.
All I saw
was that something kept happening
happening to you
happening

There was always someone who wanted to make you
mold you
into something new
something powerful
and you let them.
I understand why
(how heady it must have been!)
But I wondered why you couldn't see
what I saw:
which was that you were already powerful.

Maybe you were frightened of that power?
Maybe you came to feel that power too early?
Maybe you hid it (or it was hidden)
beneath endless layers of trauma?
Self-medication
Self-isolation
in rooms full of people
all looking to you
drawn by your magnet.

And now
(so they tell me)
you are on the run.
Leaving another trail
of broken things
and unfinished ends
behind you.
You only wanted to help
(I truly believe that)
and then it became just a job
part of what you did every day
until it broke people.

It didn't break you --
magnets don't break.
But now I imagine
your pull
your force
will have to find a new direction.