Where Does Choice Begin To End?

How can I accept a dare of Faith
when knowing what I know prevents me from believing?  
What does Easter mean to one who has seen into the eyes of his creator  
at his own peril?  
The poison that races through my veins  
cannot kill the corpse I've already become  
Just like Christ's own body,  
poison had no effect and his lightning served as a sword  
Running me through while running through me  
to enlighten all doubt within my soul  
I can't believe it happened to me,  
not as an unbelievable thing, but because I know it did  
And so Faith has rejected me and I would trade anything  
to forget all that can't be denied  
What is a cup of poison  
but a temptation to a thirsty man approaching death?  
I scoff at your oasis as a pathetic attempt to tempt  
a lifeless man thrice struck and left undead  
So remember my face dear Lucy Saint Anne,  
for I am the heir alone to an empty purgatory    
I suppose it could be worse,  
thrown into a pit of boiling souls burning in eternal fire  
But how now to compare never ending loneliness  
to infinite echoes of endless screams?  
One cannot rise from a grave  
if the ground beneath him is left unhallowed  
But neither can he rest in peace  
when the war declared upon him ends after eternity