Poem 6 ( A lover Said)

                     At 7 in the evening
          I'm in the middle of
Smoking clouds of suicidal thoughts?
Its not all because of them or my peers,
Its my own personal fears that brings
Thunder in my voice
And Lighting in my eyes
the clock is watching me
Minute to minute
Wanting the rain showers to die down to a drizzle
                       5
hours to midnight
I just need another Lucy
one sheet of loose leaf
          to write this middle
   But
The oxycodone has me too woozy
To breathe in the night
My chest is tight
Trying to get these feeling to be loose from me
Get out
 I breathe out
discontent in the mist of my situation

Appearently I was dreaming of another beginning

Should I still fight for love?
  A Lover said I'm out of line like a geese
lost from the flock
I want things how they should be
Not scrambling around putting the key in the wrong lock

Appearently, I was dreaming of another ending
Talking to love from my pillow
Turning over to emptyness

A lover said " I want to end this"
Left the conversation on the table
With the ring and the papers..