Untitled

It's getting worse again...
And they think by saying, "cheer up."
It'll stop the onslaught of demons running amuck in my head.
It's as if they don't understand that I know I have so much to be grateful for.
I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes sunshine feel like rain
I have to take this medication,
just to feel like I'm in control.
Then I'm told that I act like a six year old?
I know other people have their pasts
But that shouldn't mean that mine, my pain, isn't validated.
Telling me that one day people are going to get sick of dealing with my negativity.
You don't think I am aware.
For fucks sake, IT'S MY BIGGEST FEAR!!
I hate my mind
Because bad things are all it can find.
I try to let go just like they tell me.
But they need to realize they aren't helping.
They can't fix me.
I'm not some charity.
I'm trying though.
I really really am trying.
It's just that it's getting bad again.
I'm like that curly haired brown girl sitting in the corner.
Feeling like if she died no one would mourn her.
Twenty one and this is all I've done?
Everyone is goes through their own troubles.
But very few stop and ask, "Are you okay?:
And even if they do...
They always have something extra to say that for some reason I can't fathom
Makes it worse.
Makes me feel like I'm nothing but dirt.
Just because I get this way.
How about you shut up and just hug me?
And even if it's not,
Tell me , "It's okay. "
I guess I've said what needs to be said.
So once again,I'm sorry that it's getting bad again.