the struggle

I dive into the freezing water
It is so cold my eyelashes freeze together
And I have to swim blind
It is so cold my blood slows
And I can almost feel it as it struggles to my heart
Trying desperately to keep me alive
But I will keep doing this
Until I have it perfect
I have been doing this
for years
And yet my technique is not flawless
And my strokes are not the best
So I will continue to dive
Then swim
Then analyze and decide it could be better
I will walk to the end of the board
And I will throw myself into the empty air
Then crash into the frozen waves
And repeat the process over
And over
And over
Because it is not perfect
And no matter what
I can never settle for satisfaction
Instead I must repeat and repeat
Practicing and perfecting every detail
Until my last dive.
On my last dive,
I will throw myself into the air as usual
But the water will have gotten too cold
And I will land on ice
Which will kill me with its impact
And as I lay dying
I will contemplate how I could have perfected
My form