Birthday Boy

Birthday Boy
 
   June comes up with a perfect birthday present for her husband Ray. She has a girlfriend named Jane who happens to be a police officer. And so the wheels are set in motion. Ray begins his special day by sleeping late. Suddenly there is loud knocking on the door. He puts on his bathrobe to see what the heck is going on. When he opens the door there before his very eyes are his wife and her cop lady friend Jane. Without allowing him even the courtesy of getting dressed they whisk him away in the squad car to the station.
     Jane hustles him to an interrogation room where she sits him down in a rolling chair. Jane says “If you don’t cooperate it will go rough on your penis.”
      “What will you do with my penis?” he asks.  
     “What do you normally do with a penis?” Jane says.
     June says, “Ray’s pecker is a multipurpose tool. It can be a bolt with the accompanying nuts. This is for an electrifying screwdriver job. But his cock is most melt in my mouth delightful as a vanilla fudge stir stick. Just the thought of being stirred by that  wood makes me want to shout for joy!”
     Jane says, “He looks like he’s squirming. What is the matter, Ray? Does having your wife and a policewoman bandying about the uses of your dick make you embarrassed? Just think of how those women you ogled must have felt.”
     “Well, these are the most unusual circumstances and I don’t even know why you took me here.”
     His wife June says, “Listen if you sign this paper we can finish this affair without too much hassle.”
     “What is my crime?”
      June says, “The girls at the health club accused you of staring at their butts during aerobics. I tried to calm them down but they insisted on filing sexual harassment charges against you. I came along with Jane to protect you from any undue heat. But I must admit to taking this personally as your wife.”
     Ray looks at the paper. “This is a waiver of my right to a lawyer and to remain silent!”
     “Ray, just put your siggy on that document and the only heat you’ll get is the kind you like,” his wife says.
     “Sweetie, these are trumped up charges. I happened to be positioned behind women. But my eyes were focused on the leader. And that was only to follow the moves. Please believe me, Sargent Jane.”
     Jane says, “I think what matters more for your future is that your wife believes you.”
     June says, “Honey if you want to prove your fidelity to me then let me smack your swizzle stick with my lips in front of Jane without getting all nervous. You never should get embarrassed by your wife no matter who is in the room.”
    Ray says, “Modesty isn’t the order of the hour. Let the festivities proceed.”
     Jane says, “I knew he wouldn’t let you down. This room has seen many strange interrogations. But this has to top them all.”
     June says, “Happy birthday Ray! Now, slip out of that terrycloth and enjoy the ride.”
     Ray says, “I’ve gone from out of my wits to birthday boy in less than an hour.”