deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unmarked by That Voyage
“Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.” - Anne Sexton
Silently and gracefully,
we climb aboard the boat.
When all makes sense at last,
death’s relaxing, and serene.
The gentle rocking of the liner
adds to mellow tempers all around.
A lady in furs is as calm
as the day God rested.
We move across a sea that’s barely glimpsed,
like train stops during night journeys.
All that remains of history, and life,
is little symbols on our shades.
A scar across the neck, a paleness...
Yet all else is perfected.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.” - Anne Sexton
Silently and gracefully,
we climb aboard the boat.
When all makes sense at last,
death’s relaxing, and serene.
The gentle rocking of the liner
adds to mellow tempers all around.
A lady in furs is as calm
as the day God rested.
We move across a sea that’s barely glimpsed,
like train stops during night journeys.
All that remains of history, and life,
is little symbols on our shades.
A scar across the neck, a paleness...
Yet all else is perfected.
Published 9th Dec 2018
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Anonymous
13th Dec 2018 9:20pm
Very nice narration a couple quick reads through open up doors to mythology, the river Styx in particular,
I wonder if you changed the adverbs at the beginning to change the passivity of the start, I understand that death and the transition is passive to the observer however the Narration is regarding an active circumstane, and you get a nice sonic sound between
Silent, Graceful and climb as the “l” sonic is exaggerated
“The gentle rocking of the liner
adds to mellow tempers all around.”
Possibly take out rocking and replace with rock as it gives the line a stronger sense of immediacy and again you get a nice play on the “r” sonic between rock and liner the “ing” in most suffixed words tend to become your predominate sound structure
Thanks for the read
I wonder if you changed the adverbs at the beginning to change the passivity of the start, I understand that death and the transition is passive to the observer however the Narration is regarding an active circumstane, and you get a nice sonic sound between
Silent, Graceful and climb as the “l” sonic is exaggerated
“The gentle rocking of the liner
adds to mellow tempers all around.”
Possibly take out rocking and replace with rock as it gives the line a stronger sense of immediacy and again you get a nice play on the “r” sonic between rock and liner the “ing” in most suffixed words tend to become your predominate sound structure
Thanks for the read
