deepundergroundpoetry.com
Me.
Oooh honeyy, you haven't had a past until you've had mine.
I would go into detail on each one but I don't have time.
Just know,
I've been raped, stabed, abandoned.
Lied to, cheated on.
Bullied, kicked, frowned upon.
My daddy hates me.
My mom acts like she doesn't know me.
My step dad looks for reasons to get me in trouble.
We then all get in a fight, and the pain just doubles.
My best friend decided it was time to leave me.
Spreading rumours that deceived me.
I'm pregnant, but killed my baby?
Through abortion? Oh lord, save me.
My head has hit so many walls.
My hands and knees are what I use to crawl.
No one likes me.
They all fear me.
I just want to be loved.
Not called fat and be shoved.
I'm 5'8 and 160 pounds.
But that says I have enough fat to go around.
I've only slept with a few guys.
My choice, not because of my size.
But who cares, no one but me,a crook.
In order to read the book
The covers gotta catch your attention, draw you in.
If I were a book, people would throw me ina den.
To rot and never be read.
Or at least, that's what I've been fed.
I would go into detail on each one but I don't have time.
Just know,
I've been raped, stabed, abandoned.
Lied to, cheated on.
Bullied, kicked, frowned upon.
My daddy hates me.
My mom acts like she doesn't know me.
My step dad looks for reasons to get me in trouble.
We then all get in a fight, and the pain just doubles.
My best friend decided it was time to leave me.
Spreading rumours that deceived me.
I'm pregnant, but killed my baby?
Through abortion? Oh lord, save me.
My head has hit so many walls.
My hands and knees are what I use to crawl.
No one likes me.
They all fear me.
I just want to be loved.
Not called fat and be shoved.
I'm 5'8 and 160 pounds.
But that says I have enough fat to go around.
I've only slept with a few guys.
My choice, not because of my size.
But who cares, no one but me,a crook.
In order to read the book
The covers gotta catch your attention, draw you in.
If I were a book, people would throw me ina den.
To rot and never be read.
Or at least, that's what I've been fed.
Published 8th Nov 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2011 10:50am
9th Nov 2011 10:42am
This piece has so much potential
But somehow its just not cutting it...IMO...
I just think you have filled it with much that is unecessary and that kills it, I did a bit of a cut and paste edit, hope you don't mind?
"Oh honey,
you've had no past until you've had mine.
if I went into detail,
there wouldn't be enough time.
Just know,
I've been raped,
stabbed, abandoned,
Lied to, cheated on.
Bullied, kicked and
frowned upon.
Then a fight, and the pain just doubles.
My best friend chose to leave me
spreading rumours to deceive me-
saying - I'm pregnant,
but killed my baby?
abortion?
Oh lord, save me.
I just want to be loved.
Not called 'fat' and shoved.
I'm 5'8 and 160 pounds.
I have enough fat to go around.
I've haven't slept with many guys
by choice.
But who cares,
no one but me, a crook.
If I were a book,
I'd be left unread
With my lifeless
Cover. At least
That’s what
I've been fed."
This said please know that I really enjoyed the read and the story you are presenting.
But somehow its just not cutting it...IMO...
I just think you have filled it with much that is unecessary and that kills it, I did a bit of a cut and paste edit, hope you don't mind?
"Oh honey,
you've had no past until you've had mine.
if I went into detail,
there wouldn't be enough time.
Just know,
I've been raped,
stabbed, abandoned,
Lied to, cheated on.
Bullied, kicked and
frowned upon.
Then a fight, and the pain just doubles.
My best friend chose to leave me
spreading rumours to deceive me-
saying - I'm pregnant,
but killed my baby?
abortion?
Oh lord, save me.
I just want to be loved.
Not called 'fat' and shoved.
I'm 5'8 and 160 pounds.
I have enough fat to go around.
I've haven't slept with many guys
by choice.
But who cares,
no one but me, a crook.
If I were a book,
I'd be left unread
With my lifeless
Cover. At least
That’s what
I've been fed."
This said please know that I really enjoyed the read and the story you are presenting.
Anonymous
9th Nov 2011 11:03am
Just a side note...
160 pounds is not that fat,
its actualy quite sexy in fact.
smile*
160 pounds is not that fat,
its actualy quite sexy in fact.
smile*
10th Nov 2011 1:15am
'That' fat. Yeaaah. Thanks though. Appreciate the comment and read and your opinion. :)
Anonymous
- Edited 10th Nov 2011 12:39pm
10th Nov 2011 12:27pm
Okay revise the comment...
160 pounds?
Its just not fat...Its damn sexy!
Glad you didnt take offence, to my comments, I really like the core of the poem.
Blue Skies hun -x-
160 pounds?
Its just not fat...Its damn sexy!
Glad you didnt take offence, to my comments, I really like the core of the poem.
Blue Skies hun -x-
11th Nov 2011 1:10am
Ehh, I'm used to it. :) I don't take offense unless its obvious I should. :) and thanks for the personal comment. Lol
9th Dec 2011 2:49am
9th Dec 2011 10:52pm
