deepundergroundpoetry.com
Island
You were
a single passenger
cruise
chartering
the choppy waters,
until
your
insecurities
capsized
off
the resort’s
hour glass
island
and
you
left me
in even
greater
pieces.
a single passenger
cruise
chartering
the choppy waters,
until
your
insecurities
capsized
off
the resort’s
hour glass
island
and
you
left me
in even
greater
pieces.
Published 17th Oct 2018
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Oct 2018 4:46pm
Oh ... great flow in this ... great job with the line breaks ... the final two three line stanzas ... works well with this poem ...
17th Oct 2018 4:55pm
Determining when a piece is finished is the hard part; sometimes continuing can corrupt it.
5th Dec 2018 00:12am
A truly original lost love poem. You build your metaphor into a whole leading to that inventive twist of her leaving you in greater pieces.
John
John