Why Not Me???

Don't feel  
Deserving of any love
Or anyone to love me
Not even from  
An invisible all loving  
All knowing God
So I turn my beauty off
So no man can find me attractive  
To not get or be confused  
Equating sex with caring
Or genuine loving affections
Hiding far behind  
The wall of a natural RBF
They claim is almost as sexy
As my smile  
It's so sad, I can't even see
The me in the mirror  
They speak of
All I been looking at me for
My whole life
Is a drop of meaningful  love...