deepundergroundpoetry.com
THE CONCEALED MIRTH
THE CONCEALED MIRTH
We hear that God loves man so much.
That's why He gives him life on earth.
But pain and grief that poor man clutch.
Where is that love? Where is the mirth?
If life is a struggle from the start
and worry makes it hard to live,
the mirth in it will fall apart,
and death destroys what mirth can give.
That's not the case if we think deep
and deem the life of a tranquil soul.
Through his soul, man great pleasure can reap
and get the joy he will extol.
A man can live the greatest joy
when he explores the depth of faith,
the pure joy that none can alloy
and that starts man's bliss from this earth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
We hear that God loves man so much.
That's why He gives him life on earth.
But pain and grief that poor man clutch.
Where is that love? Where is the mirth?
If life is a struggle from the start
and worry makes it hard to live,
the mirth in it will fall apart,
and death destroys what mirth can give.
That's not the case if we think deep
and deem the life of a tranquil soul.
Through his soul, man great pleasure can reap
and get the joy he will extol.
A man can live the greatest joy
when he explores the depth of faith,
the pure joy that none can alloy
and that starts man's bliss from this earth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
Published 20th Jul 2018
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
In the light of the excruciatingly poor grammar in this line:
But pain and grief that poor man clutch.
I find it difficult not to think either that you are ignorant of the rules of grammar regarding noun/verb agreement or that you feel that it is more important to get a rhyme than it is to write well.
And I wonder if you are ever capable not only of not writing in the boring style of 18th and 19th century poets but of avoiding the sanctimonious didacticism that permeates virtually everything you've posted here.
But pain and grief that poor man clutch.
I find it difficult not to think either that you are ignorant of the rules of grammar regarding noun/verb agreement or that you feel that it is more important to get a rhyme than it is to write well.
And I wonder if you are ever capable not only of not writing in the boring style of 18th and 19th century poets but of avoiding the sanctimonious didacticism that permeates virtually everything you've posted here.
21st Jul 2018 3:59pm
Dear Baldwin,
Thank you very much for your great interest. Indeed, you are dear to me. Perhaps you don't believe that, but it is true. That's because you are interested in my writings. The problem is what's boring for you is vey interesting to me. I mean the 18th and 19th centuries' English poetry and poets. They are my idols. Anyhow, l'll do my best to modify my writings to satisfy modern life, which l find a lot of defects in , most of all in modern poetry, which l sometimes find spiritless and boring.
Thank you very much for your great interest. Indeed, you are dear to me. Perhaps you don't believe that, but it is true. That's because you are interested in my writings. The problem is what's boring for you is vey interesting to me. I mean the 18th and 19th centuries' English poetry and poets. They are my idols. Anyhow, l'll do my best to modify my writings to satisfy modern life, which l find a lot of defects in , most of all in modern poetry, which l sometimes find spiritless and boring.
21st Jul 2018 6:26pm
It strikes me as odd that you say that 18th and 19th century poets are your idols, since you do not follow them in their attention to good grammar, their felicity of speech, and their eschewing the idea that getting a rhyme is more important than making sense.
And to write well, and to avoid the grammar gaffes and forced rhyme and the sanctimony and moralizing that is characteristic of your writing is not to satisfy modern life. It's to respect the sensibilities of your audience, not to mention the legitimate rules of English grammar, and to take into account that no writer should force them to do the house cleaning of your style that they must do in order to make sense of what you write.
And as to your remark about modern poetry being spiritless and boring, I wonder how much of it you've actually read.
And to write well, and to avoid the grammar gaffes and forced rhyme and the sanctimony and moralizing that is characteristic of your writing is not to satisfy modern life. It's to respect the sensibilities of your audience, not to mention the legitimate rules of English grammar, and to take into account that no writer should force them to do the house cleaning of your style that they must do in order to make sense of what you write.
And as to your remark about modern poetry being spiritless and boring, I wonder how much of it you've actually read.
21st Jul 2018 8:22pm
Dear Baldwin,
I would like to ask you if you are following the rules of criticism, not to mention the honest criticism.
I would like to ask you if you are following the rules of criticism, not to mention the honest criticism.
Certainly far more so than you are following the rules of grammar and syntax. And I'd certainly like you to show me, if you can, how and where my criticism of your submissions has not been "honest" or on the mark.
Have you not made grammar gaffes?
Have you not produced expressions that are syntactically awkward?
Have you not used inversions to make your lines rhyme?
Have your submissions not been moralistic, if not also question begging?
Have you not made grammar gaffes?
Have you not produced expressions that are syntactically awkward?
Have you not used inversions to make your lines rhyme?
Have your submissions not been moralistic, if not also question begging?
19th May 2022 11:30am
Joseph, without hardship, how will people cleanse their souls from misery?
Some say as above, so below, but they get it in the wrong way.
They believe it is about a game between good and bad, and that the point is in the "battle" itself.
No, it is life lessons that help us grow, this Earth with its hardships stimulates growth.
As above, so below to me means that everything is connected and we bear responsibility.
Anyways, if God always pampers us, we will become too capricious and ungrateful, because stagnation and lack of one's own efforts always backfire.
This is why we have to learn it with our own power, otherwise would we be happy?
Is one happier when they learn how to fix their car on their own, or to have it fixed by someone else?
Maybe some are too lazy to care, and this is exactly why cleansing is needed, otherwise how will they release accumulated sloth and ilnesses?
Tears purify, and thus, seemingly unjust trials and hardships are actually for the best, we just don't understand it, especially if we lack some essential notions of how this multiverse works.
Some say as above, so below, but they get it in the wrong way.
They believe it is about a game between good and bad, and that the point is in the "battle" itself.
No, it is life lessons that help us grow, this Earth with its hardships stimulates growth.
As above, so below to me means that everything is connected and we bear responsibility.
Anyways, if God always pampers us, we will become too capricious and ungrateful, because stagnation and lack of one's own efforts always backfire.
This is why we have to learn it with our own power, otherwise would we be happy?
Is one happier when they learn how to fix their car on their own, or to have it fixed by someone else?
Maybe some are too lazy to care, and this is exactly why cleansing is needed, otherwise how will they release accumulated sloth and ilnesses?
Tears purify, and thus, seemingly unjust trials and hardships are actually for the best, we just don't understand it, especially if we lack some essential notions of how this multiverse works.
19th May 2022 2:08pm
Very dear Boyana,
Thank you very much for your very deep explanation. I really appreciate your opinion.
Thank you very much for your very deep explanation. I really appreciate your opinion.
