Shock from the heart...

I haven't seen enough...
There are still things i want to do...
I want to actually kiss my girlfriend... I don't have one rn...
I want to be able to go through all of the bases with her...
I want to visit... Italy, greece, france, spain, Florida, texas, California, mexico, rio...
I want a family of my own...
Daughter's name... Zyanna
Son... Aaron, or Laurence, or Dante
I want to be able to beat all of the call of duty games...
I want to go to my best friend's wedding... If that happens... No offense...
I want to have my own...
I want to buy a challenger...
Go to an amusement park with someone special... Someone i can hold... Someone i can kiss...
I want to see many movies...
I want to be known throughout the world...
I want to be loved...
I want a bachelor party...
I want to go to vegas...
I wanna swim in a tournament...
I wanna be able to cook really good food...
I want to join the navy...
How can i do any of this if there a constant sharp pain spreading like a shock wave starting from my heart...

It's like someone stabbed me and the a ripple of pain spreads every few minutes...
Constant pain... From my heart... To my lungs... Neck and stomach... Arms, head and lower half... Finally my legs
It's painful!
I'm starting to think that its not something i should keep to myself...