Hell and heaven

"Hell and heaven exist on Earth as per Dharma.
What you experience is all about Karma."
A priest was preaching his wife at midnight
Before evaluating her daily actions as black and white.
"Husband is devine presence of the almighty.
I'll judge your deeds. Please remove your panty."
Priest was sitting on the floor ready to reward or punish his wife.
He had uniquely linked wife's Karma with her sexlife.
"My Lord, here is the list of my daily actions.
I urge you to be kind-hearted during holy penetrations."
Wife was begging for mercy while removing undergarment.
She hoped for concessions in case of any punishment.
"All your Karma will be awarded with Phal (fruit/result).
For heaven, I will satisfy your vagina and hell will be anal."
He read the list and gestured his wife to sit on his lap.
Wife was fearful of the penis placed between two holes' gap.
(Karma: actions; Dharma: set of duties/Religion; Phal: fruit or result.)