Pain and Reality

Slap! Slap! Slap!
The blood pooling  
at my feet  
like an oil slick.
It slides down  
the small of my back
and through my ass crack
to dribble off my calves.
 
Slap! Slap! Slap!
The sanguine fluid
is cast off
the leather flails
to cover the pristine walls
in a fine magenta spattering.
Like Jackson Pollock
dancing around  
the room
in a frenzy.
 
Slap! Slap! Slap!
The pain of reality  
so muted and faint
like feeling
another’s experience.
The feelings inside
so much more intense  
than the crisscrossed  
tracks of my back.
 
Drip! Drip! Drip!
As I hit my knees
my head bowed  
as if at an altar
to no god in my life.
My essence flows
as the demon laughs
and the ache can’t penetrate  
his unholy glamour
which enthralls me.
 
Drip! Drip! Drip!
Like the intermittent  
sound of icicles melting  
the last drops fall
from my ravaged back.
I sigh at the numbness  
that encases me
while my insides
burn so hot.
 
The self-inflicted  
physical pain
fails
me.