Continent Wide Yogic Carpet Ride Unveils Qualm

Bull eve me (Adam, whether existence
    fact or fiction),
     his immediate legion heirs whole
heartedly partook
     to regale no Joe king paternal prominence,
     sans legendary, fraternity,
     and consanguinity subsequently implemented

     faux pas threatening Nittany Lions role
attested by this papa, a curmudgeon
     resident of the North Pole
burrowed deep within tundra

necessitated drilling permafrost black hole
son, which boring task found me dissatisfied,
     asper penultimate existential goal
thus, I decided to sell coal
to New Castle, transported
     within loco motive conveyance
     doubling up as fish bowl
decimated crossing Arctic
     great barrier reef Atoll

lauded me with mouthy gift horses,
     (one Mister Ed, adore
hubble hoof only high saddled
     Equus caballus neighing boar)

feted me, a hay er raising chore
followed by Mister Barns Noble encore
generation standing ovation,
     a deafening applause
     resonated across the floor
then an electrifying speech
     by (plan net fitness diehard) Albert Gore
describing raping, pillaging,

     And looting dip lore
able incursions as heath n (moor
or less opprobrious upon poor
sacred Mother Nature
     whimpering and softly doth roar
ring, now treated like a whore

telltale global devastation
     impossible to ignore agog
pollution extant across
     entire world wide web bog
gulls restorative legislation,
     when offal debris doth clog
estuaries, where watersheds habitat
     choking with despair,

thus imperative to grab hold collective
     figurative (corny as this may seem) ear
cuz jackknifed, irreparable,
     horrible gnashing fear
fully betokens catastrophic
     environmental fractured glare
ring hooker impailment here
and everywhere.