deepundergroundpoetry.com
Untitled
God never played the role of God
I was the one to save my own soul
Many voices said, faith will save you
I laughed and snorted, yeah whatever
I was the one who tore off the chains that kept me there
I barely escaped the thorns piercing my body
remnants of darkness still entangle my repulsive heart
leaving me tainted and broken
The night terror's briefly change me
you may see me sitting their with eyes wide and faded
like a ghost, I'll dissociate from the world around me
sweat free falling to flee my trembling body
I'm unbreakable yet breaking inside
the tortured girl hangs behind me, unaltered
like a puppet master, she controls the things I get to see
a distorted hellish world created for her, and me
We'd see ourselves on repeat, being beat
our skin would be crusted with coal like bubbles
our bodies molested, corrupted and defiled
damaged on the outside, damaged on the inside
Memories tear into me with ruthless rage
engraving me with hard to explain scars of shame
my eyes may be swollen with crimson tears
but at least you'll see me smiling
Published 15th Apr 2018
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15th Apr 2018 9:39pm
It's like watching television only in rewind and especially in winter I call it a deluge, a literal flood of 50 or more memories engulfing me at once in zip zap quickness, egads I fear I'll levitate or spin about till only Ash scatters the air. So much in common so much of sorrows pain. I most definitely relate with you. I don't get why no matter how hard I try no matter what I do the fricken baggage is super glued to my back. I do however believe in God's Power and Grace without His help I'm not sure I would still be here. Learn to be gentle, forgiving & kind with yourself, work slowly up to learning how to love yourself, without these hard earned lessons learned no bit of peace or ease can be found, beating your head against unbreakable walls. The totality will never be fully healed or gone, I do promise you things can ease and it's not gonna be easy some of the hardest sweatiest bloodiest work you'll ever do but oh so worth it. You not only owe it to yourself my sweetest you deserve it. Always keep in mind it's journey back to self not a race cause you'll never cross a finish line. Dearest Beautiful I have so much faith in you you are one hell of tough gal I promise you that you shine with it. Much Love and Mad Mad Respect,
me👣
me👣
I'm so glad you found something to believe in! I personally don't believe in a God but I have an excellent support network around me and my poetry to keep me somewhat sane. I am starting to love myself but I do use my poetry as a way to vent anything on my mind. My journey is of both light and darkness, although I am much happier than I once was. It's somewhat nice to know there is someone who can relate to me and yet sad that someone else went through such a tough journey. I hope you have a blessed and wonderful life, thank you for your beautifully kind words to me, much love xx
16th Apr 2018 2:13am
This road is full of twists, turns and tears. I have felt them all my friend. <3
