Calling the Hello a Goodbye

Did he turn
To look back at you
When you gave him a peace sign
Even though he knew
You won’t see him till March.
 
He isn’t leaving because of you
Or staying, for that matter
He is gone
And was
Before he even
Took your small hand
In a business-like
“nice to meet you.”
 
This was mapped out
From day one
But he forgot to mention
Until you had already committed
That murder wasn’t in
His game plan
 
Is this not
What you expected?
What you predicted
And wrote about
Because you knew
But blinded yourself
Because Maybe, just this once.
 
Nope.
 
Had you known
You wouldn’t have wasted time
Writing letters you never
Intended to mail
Or speak of.
Had you known
You would not
Have wasted the chapstick
And bud.
 
You would have not
Carried pills in your pocket
Or let your world
Be carried in his
No pacifier
Or the blanket with hearts
No waste in discovering
His scars
When you had your own
Still healing
 
There would have never been
An E burned in his skin
That you just so happened
To draw for him
 
Or gasping breaths
No jumping
Into that cold water
Oh, Alaska.
I have ran to you
Intentionally
Only to learn
I may have to run from you
To run from the chance
That my worn out path
Would cross his again