The Hows and the Why

This is how you sweep a corner  
This is how you dust a ceiling fan  
This is why you should clean your room  
This is why cleanliness is next to Godliness  
 
And this is how you tie your shoes  
This is how a tie makes your outfit formal  
This is why family is the tie that binds  
This is why blood is thicker than water  
 
This is how you determine the rise and the run  
This is how you get the square root  
This is why math is important  
This is why you’ll never use algebra again  
 
And this is how you make a spreadsheet  
This is how to repair a dead computer  
This is why you should never trust technology  
This is why you’ve been hacked  
 
This is how you fillet a fish  
This is how you cook a 20lb. turkey  
This is why man does not live by bread alone  
This is why you need to start a diet  
 
This how to secretly record conversations  
This is how to sue your employer  
This is why you shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you  
This is why you never look a gift horse in the mouth  
 
And this is how you kiss a girl  
This is how you properly propose  
This is why you should never get married  
And this is why your mother warned you