The life you choose

 
Let me start from the beginning, it was like a rhythm 
we started the first joints we blazed, 
copious quantities of cannabis from indica to hybrids and sativas got breathed 
Chilling in my mate's kitchen with a blender of weed,
some nights we'd pop E's other times a little speed.

One year turned to two, drugs on the regular 
each week through and through, 
never understanding what demons we let loose 
how one of us was moving to the slip-knot of a noose

Then came the night I remember so well, 
hearing him on the phone
asking if there's any brown for sale, 
little he knew that was the nail in his coffin 

A week goes by my mobile starts ringing he's saying 
"yo mate meet me at mine," starts chatting on how much he's been getting high, 
"I'm getting some again later if you're up for a try"
"Don't worry mate nobody gonna die,"
"No more than three days straight, you'll be fine"

The more and more we used the more morals we'd lose,
shooting up veins 'til they black and blue, 
walking ten miles a day in some clapped out shoes
More and more it was never enough 

Speedballs pushed quick they really make you blush 
robbing money off people who hold your trust 
only to rush off quick to buy another to frust
Time took it's toll as things got way out of control 

we just had enough, so sick of times without using and being hella rough 
not to forget those times in the back of cop cars all trapped in cuffs.
My mate, bless his soul, rode off to detox only to come out fully clean and fold, 
twenty two years old in the morgue deceased and cold 

I carried him in to the service under his name made in marigolds
I'm shedding tears fast trying to act all bold 
thinking that's it now I'm breaking this drug's hold
Withdrawals were wicked, but for my dear brother I kicked It 
Then lived seven years sober thinking all the time how I'd fixed sh?t

Two rodeos later and I'm typing this cramps in my body man
I'm clenching these fists, waking up early tied in soaking sheets 
wondering if I'm cold with heat pondering if I #ed this deep 
I'm shaking violently with a mind all in a twist 
Counting each second down to the end of this 
and that blissful feeling that pink mist gives.