I'm selfish

It's 12:08 and I'm sorry I hope you don't read this till tomorrow.
I'm sorry I bother you so much. I send message after message call after call, and I know it's got to be annoying. I Do it because ...im lonely...and im worried.. I know your mood can change within an instant and it worries me because I don't want you to feel upset and alone..
It's selfish completely selfish.
I want you to live in a beautiful palace with everything you have ever wanted and no worries in the world...i want nothing but the absolute best for you. I want you too feel like a king. I want you to be happy, with life , with yourself, with everything! I know I'm probably clingy and overbearing and act way to much like a mother...and I'm sorry for that. I really am. I try to be everything you want ...im selfish..im sorry ....i can't see such a wonderful person living as if they don't matter, as if they mean nothing..because that's so far from the truth...expecally to me. We may be "cut from a different cloth" but that is the best thing about it because I can see in you everything that you can not see in yourself, all of the wonderful things.! I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, not even close! I will never meet anyone ever in my life that will even come close to the amount I love you. I don't know how to make you understand my heart ...i know it's a twisted and dark place but I gave you the key along time ago..inside there is so Much emotion waiting to break out.
I bother you so much because as low as you feel..  I am just as low. Your mood effects me... we may come from to different places but I feel the same pain, the same low-ness, the same unworthyness, I'm disgusted with myself.. but I want you to be happy! That is my goal it's what I've been trying to do for you in this relationship. I want to give you as much happiness as I feel just from seeing you.  I want to take the  heavy weight off your shoulders.  I owe  every happy memory and feeling I have had in the last 8 years to you and you don't know how grateful I am . I don't think I will ever be able to repay you but I will continue to try