The Day the Rain Stopped Falling

The Day the Rain Stopped Falling

On the verge of a complete breakdown,
my face is covered by a massive frown.
My mind is a mess; my thoughts are chaotic and I can’t seem to focus.
I believe I’m finally about to fall victim to psychosis.

My hands shake as I struggle to pick up my phone.
I fear I’m about to be disowned.
I hold back tears as I dial up the one I love.
I hope this doesn’t end with me saying good bye to my dove.

I shake and stutter as she answers the phone.
I’m a broken man, I can feel it in every one of my bones.
I tell her I need to talk and get some shit off my chest.
She says not now; she has over a guest.
I beg and plead for her to listen to me.
The final battle is upon me and I have nowhere to flee.
She hears the concern in my voice and agrees to listen.
She’s always there for me no matter the distance.

I tell her darkness has overtaken me and I’m losing the war.
I’m filled with anxiety, stress and fear.
I feel sick to my stomach and wish I could puke away all of my sins.
In my current world, I know no such thing of a grin.
I tell her I’m struggling with my sexuality and have urges to cheat.
I’m being mocked and driven to do evil by something not made of flesh and meat.

I swear I can feel the devil inside of me.
It’s the worst feeling in the world; if you’ve ever experienced it, I know you agree.
The dim light I have left in life is quickly fading away.
Darkness consumes my soul and I’m being led astray.

How do I forgive myself for the wrong I have done?
I’m unworthy to be called anyone’s son.
I’m a failure to my friends, family and love.
I have so many hateful feelings I need to let go of.

The darkness feasts on my hate filled heart.
That hate has been there from the start.
It has allowed the demon attached to me to thrive.
It’s killing off my once strong drive.
I now struggle to make it through a simple day.
I’m suffocating; choking on such horrible darkness I wish my world was at least gray.
A world of bright colors and love is impossible to have now.
Happiness is something the demon simply won’t allow.

How can anyone love a fuck up like me?
The only one I see loving me is a fucking banshee.
Then again the banshee already cheated on me and shredded all of my emotions.
Guess it’s time to go drown myself in an ocean.
The pain of living is becoming too much to bare.
I’m sorry, I have to, it’s time to send out a desperation prayer.
It’s my last chance of survival I swear.

I ask my lord to help me tonight.
I ask him to defeat the demon attached to me and draw me out from under the night.
I ask him to save my life since I’m on the brink of defeat.
From this planet my existence is about to be hit with a delete.
I’m sorry I lost the war, sorry I’m giving up.
Hopefully the other side has one hell of a country club.
A country club where I can meet and make some friends.
Hopefully my soul will be at peace and be completely cleansed.
I drift off to sleep with no hope left in any cell.
I guess this is a farewell to all.

I awake in the morning to find my mind at peace.
The war obliterating everything inside me has drawn to a cease.
The birds are chirping outside my window.
My life no longer feels like it’s in limbo.

A smile has appeared across my face.
I’ve entered a strange new place.
The breaths I take are normal again, not so hyper.
A weight has lifted off my chest, I feel so much lighter.

Love has filled my shattered heart again; the pieces are beginning to heal.
My soul quickly falling to despair feels reborn, remade with steel.
My bones ache less; I’m able to stand normal.
I have a feeling I will now present myself a little more formal.

Finally, after a decade the war seems to be over.
There’s now less stress being carried on my shoulders.
Thank you lord for saving my life.
Thank you for preventing me from falling victim to the knife.
Thank you for reinstalling me with strength.
Thank you for never giving up on me and going through incredible lengths
to show me all the love you contain for me.
In the end, you came through like you had in plan for me.
I will never let you down again I promise.
I will keep in touch and do my best to always be honest.