Down the Rabbit Hole

I feel like I have fallen down the rabbit hole again.  
I said I was okay, that I wouldn’t fall again.  
I’m stronger now, I can handle it.  
But I was wrong.  
I knew I was on the edge again, and I didn’t stop.  
I could have turned around, but the rabbit lured me in,  
and without a thought or a blink of an eye I stepped forward and fell.  
I grabbed the pills, and fell down the hole.  
I grabbed the bottle, and fell down the hole.  
I grabbed the needle, and fell down the hole.  
At first I just wanted the pain to stop, and now it’s as if I am welcomed home by an old friend.  
The rabbit and I talk like the time I left never happened.  
Why did I even think that leaving in the first place was a good idea?  
I know I’m not okay.  
I know I’m not the strong person I thought I was, and really is that such a bad thing?  
I grabbed the pills, and fell down the hole.  
I grabbed the bottle, and fell down the hole.  
I grabbed the needle, and fell down the hole.  
And this time I won’t be climbing back out.