Merry Go Round

Our love was like a merry go round.

I didn't see it then, but I understand now.

I was so caught up.

You spun your web, and around I went.

I let you trap me.

I didn't want to get off, because I knew what awaited me.

I didn't want to be dizzy out of love, but it was okay while in it.

So, I just let you take us around, and around.

I didn't care where we went.

I guess I knew that just like a merry go round, I knew we were always in circles.

Nothing was ever resolved.

We just revisited each subject later.

Again and again and again.

It was exhausting.

I was tired of spinning.

I was dizzy, and the ride wasn't even over yet.

I sat and I watched as you turned my life into everything it wasn't.

It was fun, because I didn't know the turmoil that waited after you.

I'm off now.

I'm grasping for the earth that I'm planted on.

I still can't seem to find balance.

It's like living your life one way, and then someone throwing you on a completely new track.

With nothing but my scrambled head-space and a new outlook on life, I struggled.

I struggled to walk on my own again.

I struggled to decipher all the memories, and I had to decide what was real and fake.

I still don't know. I struggled.

That's all there is to it.

You let me get on your ride of terror.

Knowing it was no place for me.

You let me spin and laugh.

You let me believe it was a game.

But then I get off, and boy, you should feel ashamed.

I've found balance now.

I'm standing strong on solid ground.

I've made my own evolution into a happy person.

I know where I'm going, and it's not where I've been.

The past was a lie, and I live for the truth.

It's hard to believe how far I've come.

It's hard to look back, and see what I had to push through.

It's easy not to live in the past, because I can barely remember a time when I wasn't gasping for air in your toxic twister of life.