I’m Released

By dream or dance I’m released
from a curse of hating self
dysmorphia lurking in the mind
escaped in sleep or by jig
 
either is a welcome break
there is no judgment that I face
from the self with decree
that shame is due in figure’s wake
 
in one world I’m beyond
the mortal coil of waking life
with the angles all too cruel
aped in mirrors I despise
 
the illusion denies my age
suspended in amber vision
denying what came before
perception’s verdict oh so kind
 
the other realm is movement’s grace
belying size or corporal space
when the joy envelops me
stepping light with music’s tune
 
motion blinds the critical
only seeing spin and pass
across the body, turn of foot
exquisite distraction I adore
 
one or the other is what I seek
relief from voices that only jeer
mocking form, derisive vents
numbing by the volume spent
 
these I’ll put behind me when
I sleep or dance at last blind
to the taunts I can’t abide
by dream or dance I’m released.
 
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171111.
 
“I’m Released” is a poem about body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).  This an anxiety disorder that causes sufferers to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance and to have a distorted view of how they look.  I find escape when I am dreaming or when I am dancing.