Meth's Last Kiss

     
I am filled with a sense of apathy today    
& I don't feel like writing    
but I am pushing myself through it    
     
depression has set in    
i'm bipolar      
& my balance is naturally off    
withdrawal has only increased this    
     
i've looked into the history of meth    
& found out Hitler's scientists created it    
at one time it was used as a depression cure    
it works great      
I find myself wishing it was still legal    
     
thinking a lot about my last line today    
i'm not sure I can do this    
I don't feel good normally    
mental illness is painful    
this drug makes me feel good    
how do I tell myself
go back to being in pain?    
     
my mind is wandering    
& I think about many things    
like there is a man i'm attracted to    
he's given me the drugs for free    
though I'm not sure      
if it's him or the drugs i'm drawn to    
I can't remember      
if I was attracted to him before      
     
when he first gave me the some    
he told me about meth whores    
who give blow jobs for it    
I'm thinking about him today    
he's sexy & exciting to me    
though I wonder if it's him or the drugs    
I find myself craving