Movie Hero

I wish I could cry like a movie hero,
with traitorous tears escaping down my cheeks
though my words stay strong and sure.

I wish my voice hadn’t broken along with my heart,
because I am not a movie hero who must
endure hardship to get a happy ending.

Is my happiness guaranteed? The sun dries up every
rain puddle but I cannot speak in metaphors.
I am alive and have a life that I must live
whether it ends in happiness or not. I fear
the night but not for a horrible memory
that proves my bravery
but because I fear the unknown.

And I don’t believe in monsters,
because evil is what we make for ourselves
which means that we are capable of evil,
so what other great things may we achieve?

And I reached the unknown again so I am afraid,
and still crying because this is not my epiphany,
this is real life and I do not get an exposition
or a resolution like a movie hero,
for life doesn’t work like that,
no, she is not so kind.