holy contradiction of terms, batman!

She a walking car alarm,    
A high heel flip flop    
Pullin' your leg to make sure your hanging dead..
.    
A picture slanter    
False flag implant-er    
The broken leg on the marriage bed...
    
Bought a watch, to never use it    
Was on a rowing machine that sank    
Caustic tongue that never bases    
Inner child, that needs a spank...  
   
Built like a tank, that keeps a rollin'    
Smashing dreams beneath her weight..    
An extra arm that's used for milking    
Oh God for heaven sake!..