overestimated

how could the one who made me
set me up to be damned
i think God overestimated
how strong i really am
he had to overestimate
my will to be here
and he highly underestimated
the things that i fear
i'm driving through life
with no brakes and no steer
crashing as i go,
down roads,unclear
arriving at destinations
that i can't manage to stay at
and how sometimes when i breathe
i pray it's my last
not suicidal, no
just rather open to death
sometimes i'd be so content
with a gunshot to the chest
crazy, i know
but it's rather sane compared to my life
pick up the knife, long sleeves in the summertime...
i'm gonna chill tho...
relax, it's just a poem, okay..
i'm gonna chill for real before the psych ward takes me away...
just rather depressed you know..
hard to keep my head on straight...
when most of the time,
i just wanna fade away...