There is that man in me

I know I need to let go  
and I try everyday but  
small things remind me of you.  
Like A song a convo or movie.
I try to ignore it everyday.
 
I'm still waiting in my car  
for you to put your clothes on,  
when will you wake up and see  
there is that man in me?  
I wake up and reach for you everyday
 like you were just there faded away.
When will you reach for me?  
Nay Isn't that the man you once wanted
a long time ago in a poem so long ago?  
In a time before there was  
a you and me.  
That fantasy is me.  
 
Scorpio stings.  
Pisces dreams.
 Hearts so big,  
conversations into the night,  
you and me until we are old and greying.  
Redbone babies.
I'm still that boy who fell in love with a girl of another color
 who got me into slam poetry.  
I have no rhythm or rhyme but I knew love the moment I saw you.  
And Ha! my plan worked you spoke to me first
 so there must of been something there at first.  
Chemistry maybe my nice tshirts  
or a little shy persistence after work.
Waffle House and Burger King.
Poetry readings.  
Falling asleep in each other's arms instead of going home.  
The kind of love that should've always lasted  
but I was horny from the start.  
Thinking with my dick  
not with my heart.  
I am ashamed and nothing  
I do or say can take it back  
or make your feelings go away.  
It was all just the wrong way.
 
I wake up every day  
push the thoughts of you away
because you plague my dreams  
night and day.  
Nothing I do or say  
will ever turn the clock back Nay nay
 
But everyday I am changing. Changing inside.  
Turning into the man  
you once wanted me to be.  
But karma it could be  
has taken its toll  
and we are both old souls.  
We've done this dance before.  
The thing that seems so sane to me
 is that you deny your love of me.
 
I want to live with my best friend in my life.  
Grow out my beard  
have a loving understanding wife.
With you by my side  
I would be happy till that fateful day  
I truly die.  
So I say listen to me  
I'm still waiting in my car for you to put your clothes on.
I see you everyday in what I do and say.  
I smell you in the morning dew.
Sometimes I think the only person
who could ever make me happy is you.  
You are with me when I wake and go to sleep.
I'm not asking you to settle Nay nay
I'm just saying that hopelessly romantic dream,
from a poem you wrote so long ago,
there is that man in me.  
there is that man in me.