oh NO! She called me the F-word

I looked deeply into her fiery cold eyes  
(do you know that I exist or has it all been lies?)  
Wondering if she felt the burning in my heart  
(I am naked, yet you are unaware, should I just depart?)  
I sensed nothing but the chill of her exhaled breath  
(would you notice if you inhaled my soul so soon after death?)  
As the scent of her words intoxicated me with desire  
(polite words are knives that betray you as a liar)  
Lulling my mind into a false sense of blissful ecstasy  
(exploring dark places in my head, there is intimacy)  
An imitation of sensuality conjured in my imagination  
(I hide in the shadows of synaptic masturbation)  
Convincing my sub-consciousness that mindfucking    
(yes, wouldn't that just make me your unrequited king)  
Was something we could share in the solid world  
(until the gravity of my futile dreams finally unfurled)  
That if I thought deep and hard enough it would manifest  
(but laid out before eyes that see a crumbling empty nest)  
Fantasy would transform into physical familiarity  
(so that "friends" would not be the "F" word you attached to me)