deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Infinite Splendor of All Things
... just thought I’d mention ...
... that I’ve ev’ry intention ...
to love on You ‘til the not-so-bitter end.
You are My Friend;
You are My Lover,
and I’d die for You
like No Other.
May We never wuther
or fade!
May We only know jade,
and the infinite splendor of all things—
material, and of The Ether!
... that I’ve ev’ry intention ...
to love on You ‘til the not-so-bitter end.
You are My Friend;
You are My Lover,
and I’d die for You
like No Other.
May We never wuther
or fade!
May We only know jade,
and the infinite splendor of all things—
material, and of The Ether!
Published 8th Jun 2017
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jun 2017 4:16am
This has a really unique and cool rhythm, and I really dig this poem. In the line "May we only know jade," the word jade feels a little forced for me and less human and empathetic like the rest of the poem. Other than that, I absolutely love this! Keep in mind this is only my opinion, so if you like that line, keep it! It definitely did not ruin the mood of the poem for me.
14th Jun 2017 3:08pm
I deeply appreciate Your comment and Your inserted opinion. I shall consider the word choice of "jade," and thank You for Your candor. You were very kind to have complimented Me and to have taken the time both to read and comment on My poem. Peace to You!
