I'm nobody (everyday)

Carve skin with a blade to feel deep inside,
bleed out pain cause it's hurting like hell.
Seeking release, need to hide what I write,
they'll freak out if they see what it spells.

Cut to release but it's just a distraction,
don't want to be "me" anymore,
their feigning concerns and stunning reactions
will fade as my death is ignored.

Never did care much for friends anyway,
they go from one group to the next,
who'd take time from their own busy day
to treat me like some special guest?

Don't look too close it makes me feel strange,
I never did like my own face,
give me a drink to fill up this hole
so I feel like I 'do' like this place.

I stuff things inside but no longer hide;
I'll run from my monsters no more,
physical pain is a pleasure compared
to the inner disease I endure.

What I fear most is death of my conscious;
when you sleep you are never aware,
can't hold my breath and suffocate to death
and both pills and the noose make me scared.

I'm nobody, nobody everyday,
you killed when you filled me with lies,
don't try to stop me from fading away;
(I'll shine like a star in dark skies)