Addiction

Me and you go back for sometime
We started as casual friends

Focused with my own life
We would only meet on weekend
But as life became rough and friends became thin
Me and you started seeing each other more often
in the beginning I didn't realize how you effected me

I would have swore on everything  you were for good
In my tough times you made me feel like no one else could
You gave me euphoric satisfaction
A heavenly relaxation wedged with sinful passion
All insecurities I had were secure
How could something so bad feel so right
You were always there for me no matter time or place
You never broke promises that others said they keep
Except you were there whenever I need a moment of peace
A small dose to fix my depressing despairs
One moment with u and all my problems would vanish into thin air
in hindsight my friends told me not to mess with you
But I stood up for you, always saying "they don't know you like i know you"
say the word I'd rob, steal, or kill just for you
All day people roll their eyes and look at us funny
"Some friends!", that why I love you, never once have you judged me
But after awhile
My mental crutch lost it touch
And what I once used for my distractions
Has now become my fatal attraction
It just seems like yesterday we met but already you have me walking down the steps of death
I've been trying to break free
Trying to escape this ruthless feeling disease
At nights I can barely sleep, when I do sleep at all
I wake up screaming in the night hoping someone will hear my destitute call
bed sheets soaked in coldness from the night sweats
Weightloss, pulling out hair from the never ending stress
The walls that were once down
Now stand tall and firmly bound
Sunny skies that once seem bright
Are now black as a hopeless night
Rain drops now carry weight of a tidal waves
the heat from the sun feels like a hellish flurry that never fades
You've taken my will to love my desire to live and my strength to carry on
This addiction strangles me like a possessive demons inside
Sometimes all i wanna to do roll over and cry
Or even worse end my own life
Tears by day nightmares by night
You've made my life I never ending fight
I need a blessing I need a miracle
Something to feed my hollow soul
It might have been fun while it lasted but by the grace of God I gotta get past this...
Addiction