Sticking Up for the Little Guy

 
Shame on you cruel astronomers
 For the callous, and hurtful, notion
 That stripped poor Pluto of membership,
 And stuck it with unjust demotion.

 A pox upon you scoundrels
 Who concocted the infamous project
 That reduced a sad, little planet
 To a trivial Kuiper belt object.

 How dare you consign the modest orb
 To an ignominious genus?
 And label it inferior to
 A sulfuric hell like Venus.

 It won't fawn on the Sun like Mercury;
 Pluto follows its own humble pattern.
 It’s not ostentatiously obese like
 Imperious Jove or Saturn.

 You're fine with gloomy Neptune,
 You let all its toxic faults pass,
 And confer majestic planethood
 On a fat ball of natural gas.

 Are you jealous of Pluto’s close-up view
 Of the far-flung, glittering stars?
 Is that why you say it’s not as good
 As a rusty red lump like Mars?

 And, of course, it doesn't come anywhere near—
The "awe-inspiring" Earth.
 Because Mother Terra's the "sacred locale"
 Of your own, highly dubious, birth.

 Was there no other way to satisfy
 Your cosmic cosmetic solution?
 Could you not have let little Pluto
 Be a world for just one revolution?

 Fie on you arrogant eggheads!
 Your crime against Pluto was heinous,
 And happy's the day your bright ideas
 Get shoved (sideways) up Uranus!