THE MORMON GIRL

she rests on the floor
beside the low abutting table
as she cries into her panties
washing them with her tears
oh, when will it ever end?
she asks herself a thousand times
am i  going insane?
what am i to do?

and for what seems a thousand times
she buttons the top button of her dress
over her breasts
then clasps her hands together in prayer,
asking the Heavenly Father for forgiveness


the remembered sight of the town butcher's lower leg
as he bent to pick up her dropped money
it brought her off today
the wriggly scroll of hairs
on the shiny skin
his pant hike innocently revealed

she lays her panties on the floor
they are so damp
just a few minutes ago they
held her crazily digging fingers
took the repeated pokes of
the table's jutting angle
which finally caused her to
vise her legs against the raping ecstasy
then after she had removed the panties
in the transgressive silence of the room,
evening darkness falling accusingly in corners,
she could not control a slow burst of repentant tears
that made her clutch the silken pink
up to her eyes
hoping the spillage might cleanse her of her sin
ease the panicking of her thumping heart
and extinguish the blazing of her twitching loins



Note: This poem, originally titled "guilt", I posted Jan. 9, 2016 and featured a girl from a different religious background than the one here.

Sexual neuroses and sexual guilt stem from most religious theologies and can wreak immense psychological damage and suffering on their victims. The Mormon Girl, like "guilt, is a rare poem on a little mentioned subject, and will appear in a forthcoming special limited collector's edition of my erotic poems in 2017.